With an example story of john this is the experience they gone through as you read I will conclude also enjoy
Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and
knowing how to live with insecurity is the only
security.” ~John Allen Paulos
Over the past ten years, I always had a man by my
side. I was always in a relationship.
I was in a relationship for eight years before my ex
and I got engaged, then broke it off because of the
distance—my ex’s reason. Not long after that I got
into a two-year relationship with a man who loved,
yet cheated on me. It was a messy break up.
So after ten years in relationships, I found myself
alone.
I’m 31 and single!
Recently some questions have bounced around in
mind: What happened to me during those years?
What did I get, gain, achieve in these two
relationships? Why am I now alone? What will I do?
How do I do things by myself?
Now what? Where to start?
I started to panic, to hyperventilate—until I found
this quote:
“Single is not a status. It is a word that
describes a person who is strong enough to live
and enjoy life without depending on others.”
Yes I am scared. I was so used to sharing
everything. I was so used to having someone
around.
But the reality is I am my own person, and if I
can’t enjoy being single, how can I enjoy being
with someone else?
So I started reading about being single, and
interviewing other happy single people. Surely I
wasn’t the only 31-year-old person who felt
uncertain about her new singleness. I needed to
find proven ways to be happy as a single adult
woman.
In my research, I learned some important truths
about being single:
1. Being single gives you time to be by
yourself, with yourself.
Finally some me time. This is the time to reconnect
with myself, a time where I can talk to myself,
debating all the questions and answers that are
bouncing in my head.
This is the time of reflection. This is the time of
acceptance and letting go, which brings me to the
second point…
2. If you don’t let go of the past, you will
never appreciate the present.
Yes I have fond memories of my exes, but that was
in the past. I know I will always cherish those
memories, but I need to stop clinging to them to
live for today and plan for tomorrow.
Buddha said every day you are born again—that
means new experiences and adventures for today!
3. It’s only after you have lost
everything that you are free to find out
what you were missing.
During those ten years, I lost love, a pregnancy,
and my health. I truly believed I had lost everything.
I can’t even start telling you how many tears I shed
during those difficult times.
Now that I’m single, I have an opportunity to do all
the things I put off while I was putting all my energy
into my relationships. I have to believe that I will
eventually have the things I lost, but for now I’m
taking this time to enjoy myself and complete
myself.
4. Change can sometimes be good.
Part of me feels afraid of this quick change.
Adaptation takes time, yet I’m already thinking of all
the possibilities—meeting new people, going to
new places, tackling new projects.
Sometimes change is the best thing for us, as it
opens us up to new activities and environments.
5. Being single does not have to mean
being afraid to love.
My heart has been bashed, bruised and broken.
But I don’t feel traumatized, and I know I will love
again. Hopefully the next someone will treasure
and treat my heart with love and respect.
Staying open to love isn’t just about attracting a
new relationship; it’s about being open to life.
6. Even if you’re single, you still have so
much to appreciate.
“Being single is not the end of the world,” a friend
said to me. She continued by saying “There are
other problems that are more depressing than
being single—hunger and homelessness, for
instance.”
This felt like a slap in the face to wake me up. It
reminded me that even with a broken heart, I am
still standing. I’m still breathing. There are still so
many possibilities for me.
7. You’re not alone when you’re single;
you still have family and good friends.
I am lucky to have a supportive mother and sister.
They are my sanity—my light. Spending time with
them relaxes me in a way. I’m also fortunate to
have wonderfully good friends who are always
there with open arms, ready to listen and support
me.
I know for sure I can always share my happiness
and sorrow with them. I can always depend on
them without feeling the slightest bit of guilt. And
now that I’m single, I have even more time to
devote to being there for them.
8. Being single is a call to focus on
yourself.
Sometimes being in a relationship can make you
lazy about developing yourself. You can get so
comfortable that your goals take a back seat.
When you’re single, it prompts you to look deep
inside yourself and identify the person you really
want to be—whether you’re in a relationship or not.
9. Something better will come your way
if you’re open to it.
I found a lovely quote through twitter, “To see a
rainbow, one has to pass a storm.”
When something bad happens, we tend to
concentrate on the negatives, forgetting that there
must be something positive hidden somewhere in
the havoc.
You will know happiness in the future—and in the
present, if you’re open to it.
10. Life is a balance. When there is
darkness there will be light.
I believe that everything in life is a process. When
something dramatic and fast hits us, it will take
time to process it and start over.
I am starting over.
As a newbie in singlehood I still have a lot to learn,
understand, and explore. I sometimes need to be
reminded to be grateful for what I have.
As we all know, these words are easier said than
practiced. So I hold onto one important idea that I’d
like to leave you with:
Change comes from within. You alone have to
decide if you want that change.

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